Dear Taylor Swift #2

Dear Taylor Swift,

I can't help but worry about living with my University friends next year. Surely living with your friends that you love should make you ecstatic and excited and all the happy feelings in the world, but I'm not feeling it. I'm worried about the close-proximity of the house. I'm worried we're going to hate each other by the end. I'm worried about hearing bitchy comments. I'm worried that our friendship may fall apart all because we spend too much time together.

I started feeling this at the end of last term. We all study English which only leads to competitiveness with grades, which I just can't deal with. I need to live in a place where I don't feel judged. My heart is telling me that they don't judge me, and I believe it, until my head gets in the way and reminds me of my paranoia that is constantly there. We're just so alike and I think that's great, but don't we all get most annoyed with ourselves? And once you've realised your friends are just like you, do you start taking your annoyances out on them? I can't decide whether the ache in my stomach is caused by them, or by me being worried over our friendship.

I hadn't seen them for a while and then we went to a festival together. Tents, rain and mud are not the best arrangements for friends on heat. I constantly felt like I was annoying them and felt my presence was not worthy. I even over-heard bitching about me in the tent. Now, I know everyone is bitched about, I just don't want to hear it - and I'm sure everyone is the same. But I guess I should 'shake it off' and I DO! I'm a strong person in the fact that I know who I am, I know what I believe and my morals and ways to deal with life, but when you hear people you're very close to discuss them, it can be off-putting. It just reminded me of your lyric in 'Mean', 'pointing out my flaws again, as if I don't already see them.' People always want to think that they know you more than you know yourself but really what they say behind our backs has been going through our heads for months before. (That made sense in my head, it may not have here...)

I am currently on summer break, which is perfect to have some time to myself. Except I now have a shitty job that is treating me like crap, I have no time to see my home friends and I've lost the love for reading and writing. All this, plus the Uni friends situation, is stressing me out and just writing this here makes me realise how stupid I'm being. But I'm always thinking, and thinking leads to worrying which leads to asking your favourite singer for advice.

Maybe you could just take me away from my life for a few weeks in your private jet and pay me to hang out with you for the rest of the summer.

Love from,
Mabel x

Dear Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,

I wasn't sure if I should do this seeing as a letter is quite personal, but I liked the idea that because there would be no chance of you actually reading this, then others can. 
I have been a fan of yours for a very long time now. While I have enjoyed other artists in the past, I always manage to come back to your music and I still get the same feelings now, when I'm eighteen as I did when I was thirteen. I like how I feel that I have grown up with you, from the fairytales to the more mature, pop sound. However, I've noticed there are so many things that I haven't experienced in your songs that, at this present moment in my life, I wish I had because it just makes me feel like I'm stuck as that thirteen year-old hopeless romantic. 
In September I started University without ever having a boyfriend, and only having kissed two people when I was stupidly drunk on a holiday with my friends (I still have a feeling of dread whenever I think about it). What I'm trying to say is, I've not even been close to having boyfriend. When I come back from University, I dread the question, 'so...any boys?' because the answer is always the same blunt no. I've learnt how to quickly change the subject whenever it comes around but obviously what I really want to do is talk endlessly with my friends about boys and advice, but I've never had the chance. Instead, I listen to all my friends discuss it while I get smaller and smaller until I'm practically invisible. 
Now, I don't want this worry to take over my life, it just makes the same question whirl around my brain - 'What's wrong with me?'. I know so many people go through this and I don't know whether it's because all my friends are now talking about relationships, or if your music has made me realise how little I actually relate to it, or perhaps it's the fact my brother has been with his girlfriend for 6 years when they met when they were 16. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about it and feeling sick when discussions come around. If there is one thing I can relate to in your song 'Blank Space', it's the lyric 'I get drunk on jealousy'. There doesn't seem to be anything that I can properly relate to. No TV series, no music, no book. 
I love your message of being single and having your friends, because I've always felt that. I have the greatest friends ever and they remind me a lot of your group, but I can't help but think the difference is, you've been in love, you've had that feeling - I haven't and I, rather stupidly, want it. I'm that kind of girl who's fine with being on her own, because she doesn't know any different - I want to have that difference. 
I hate that I'm writing a letter to you about this because it's not until now, when I've moved away, that I've started to realise how unlucky in love I am. I have made great friends at University, so it's not that I'm lonely. I think it's because I'm nearly 19 and have never been in a relationship, while everyone else around me has. I know you're great at your advice about this kind of thing, so I felt you were the best to write to. 

From,
Your best friend you never knew about.

PS - I always knew you were a feminist, I have written so many things arguing that you are. Thanks for finally voicing it.

A slightly different blog post today. I have had this idea for a while now and I think I might do more but with different people in the public eye where I ask for their advice. Seeing as Taylor Swift has always been my number one, I felt she should be first. I think my next letter will be to Lorelai Gilmore, so yes, fictional characters are included. I hope you like this letter thing, and obviously, if you have any advice for me, give me a shout.