How do I think up these things?

I can't stop thinking about the world. It seems so small compared to everything else. I sometimes forget that people on the other side of the world are still on the earth. It feels as if they should be on another planet because it's just not big enough. It also makes me wonder if we're wasting what we have. There are very few 'influential' people compared to the seven billion people on this world. We spend most of our time drinking coke, watching television, eating food. Doesn't that feel like a waste? Problem is we're all scared (I am anyway). I can't talk. Whenever someone asks me a question my mind goes blank. I know what I should say after. I can write things down but can never say them. It's like my mouth wants to say something completely different to what my brain says and I sound so stupid. 

My brother told me about Jean-Jacques Rousseau today who's a Genevan philosopher. He said that he felt civilization has ruined us and we should go back to cavemen times (or as he calls is "savages").  

"...This state is the veritable youth of the world; and that all the subsequent progress has been in appearance so many steps toward the perfection of the individual, and in fact toward the decay of the species."

Maybe if we never became the "civil man" we would have no war, no racism, no sexism, no prejudice. Maybe it was our happiest state. Then again, wouldn't it be wasting our art and literature that has come from the human race? If the world were to end right now, what would be the thing you would be most pleased with? Mine would be the art and literature created which would have been wasted if we went with Rousseau's theory. However, with great art comes great unhappiness. You see the world in a different way. It's a mould. Would it be better to just be happy? Gahh these things really make my brain hurt.

I have currently been watching the second series of Girls. Everyone had told me it's much darker than the last series and yes, it is different. We see more of Hannah's boobs. Marnie and Shoshanna have more of a character. And Jessa is married to Chris O'Dowd (which I can't get over). But today I watched one that stuck in my mind. Hannah was just about to have sex when the man tells her she's beautiful. By which she replies, "I know I'm beautiful but it's never normally a comment I get." I loved that bit. It made me (and hopefully others) realise that it's not strange to think yourself as beautiful it's actually a good thing. 

I do, however, feel it's really hard to believe that in yourself - which I blame on society. I was reading Marie Claire today (which, ironically, had Lena Dunham on the front cover) and it made me feel like crap. It was filled with super thin, super tall models with perfectly structured faces which is not a good image for young females to see on a daily basis. It makes it seem like the norm when really, everyone is beautiful because we're all different. We should embrace our differences instead of feeling as if we're 'wrong' because we don't look like Karlie Kloss or Kate Moss (I didn't mean for that to rhyme). 

I wish I was one of the 'lucky ones' that sees themselves as beautiful because we all are. Beauty isn't just looks, it's personality also.. 

Anyway, I realise I haven't posted in a while. I've actually been at Shambala festival which was amaaaazzzzinnnngggg. Pictures and a longer post will be up soon. Right now it's going to be a pretentious post about the world and female beauty.

I looked up beauty on the Tumblr tag and this came up.

“Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.”

I've been on holiday with my family this week. It was great to get away from the city and see a bit of the countryside (that includes cute little bunnies hopping around in fields). It also meant I could really get into my reading. I'm currently reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles. At the moment, I can't say it's my favourite book but because of the holiday I have managed to read a lot more of it then I would have done - I'm a really slow reader. (If you would like to have a look at some of my pictures and videos from my holiday then go to my Instagram here. Try not to laugh at my embarrassing selfies).

One other thing we did was watch a lot of Seinfeld and some films. We watching Marie Antoinette (which was beautiful to look at, Sofia Coppola really has an eye for that whole 'teenage-instagram-indie' phase thing.), Lost In Translation (again) and finally Annie Hall. 

Recently I had watched a Woody Allen documentary on the TV which made me fall in love with him. I wish I had his life. He makes a film every year and doesn't care about the reviews or the box office - he only cares about what he thinks of it. I really admired that because it's sometimes hard to remember that, out of everything and everyone, you should be the main person that's happy with what you have produced in your life. But it also makes you your biggest critic - which I think we can all agree is true for most people. 

By this time, I had only watched Love and Death, Sleeper (years ago so I can't really remember it) and Midnight in Paris (which I lovvveee) so after this, I knew I needed to get watching his other films! Annie Hall, I think, will stick with me for years to come. Woody Allen is able to analyse life, and make it funny - which a lot of people can't. There's this great bit where Woody (Alvy Singer) and Diane Keaton (Annie Hall) are making lobster and they all fall to the ground and it's just a funny scene. It's then reenacted, but with a different girl and it's just not the same. The girl doesn't find him funny (he's a comedian in the film) and doesn't find the situation particularly amusing. This is an ultimate human flaw. We find one thing funny once and then try to redo it, but it's never the same. It's a big lesson that I personally need to learn (and so does Gatsby, you know, "Can't repeat the past" and all that..).

There's also another scene where Alvy and Annie are in a book shop and Alvy tells us the way he views life. My mum had already told me this quote as, after seeing this film in the 70s, she began viewing life in this way also - and now I think I do. 

“I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.” 

Life is hard. That's a fact. But we should be thankful that we don't have it worse. It's better to think positively, even while you are miserable, because really, everyone else is too. We're all in the same boat and we all just keep going through it because "we need the eggs".

If you haven't already seen Annie Hall, then watch it now!! Not only is it really funny (look out for the cinema scene early on, it made me laugh a lot) but it's also sad. I love films like that. It's a lot like 500 Days Of Summer - or shall I say, 500 Days Of Summer is a lot like Annie Hall.

Sorry for the overload of pictures but I couldn't choose only a few because they're all so great. Ah well, la di dah as Annie Hall would say.

"You don't need love and sex in films" - Greta Gerwig

When it comes to films, I like all different kinds. I love the never wanting to admit they're your favourite films - rom-coms, disney etc. I love the really high-brow films that you like to quote in front of new people so they think you're intellectual. I love the films that are filled with violence, drugs, sex etc - even though I'm nothing like that in real life. And I really like films that have little or no plot, they've spent a few million (I'm saying it like that's a small amount, but it is in the film industry!!) and they're just made to represent life in it's normal way - if you get what I mean.

The latter is what I felt when I went to see Frances Ha on Tuesday (my cinema has 'bargain Tuesdays' ALL TICKETS ARE £5, that is my heaven!!!!). It's the ultimate 'indie' (it's in black and white, talk about arty), funny, feel good film. Well, that's what I thought at first, until, like ten minutes in, Frances' best friend, Sophie, moves out to live with someone else and leaves her to figure out the rest of her life. I felt so much empathy for her - when she was sad, I was sad, when she was happy, I was happy. That's always a good sign that you like a film. Frances wants to be a dancer and I connote dancing with happiness, so when her life takes a turn for the worst I felt unbelievably sad. THAT'S what a film should do to someone. Make them feel.

After the film, me and my mum were dancing out of the cinema, just like Greta Gerwig (who plays Frances and wrote the film!!) does in this long scene where she's dancing through the streets of New York with glee. Throughout she wears the coolest clothes, mainly dresses with converses and this huge leather jacket that I just want right. now. Instead, I'm buying myself a pair of converses which I haven't had since I was probably twelve when I thought I was such a cool kid. To be honest, I will probably think that again as soon as I put them on. 

Frances is just a normal girl. Someone you wish was your best friend or older sister because she's a laugh. She likes to play fight in the street, run around laughing and even pee on train tracks (don't try that at your local train station guys..). She has the coolest friends, including Lev who is played by Adam Driver (the dreamy Adam from Girls) and Rachel, played by Grace Gummer who is Meryl Streep's daughter (Okay, the person she plays isn't actually that nice but, hello, her mum is Meryl Streep). The only person I didn't like was her best friend Sophie (played by Sting's daughter...I don't like Sting). Overall, though, it's just a fun film. At some points you feel so deeply upset, my heart literally sank - literally is used extremely lightly here - but that's life. That's what's so great about these films, they tell the truth about life. There can sometimes be no plot that a 'normal' film may see but, hey, the real plot is life.