As you guys probably all know, Cory Monteith passed away a few days ago. I was a big fan of Glee and he was always my favourite character but he also seemed like a really great guy in real life. I think that's why this has really freaked me out. I haven't stopped thinking about it since it happened. I feel so sorry for all his family and friends (and of course Lea Michele). It was just so sudden and that's what's made me think how fragile life is.
For most days I spend my time lying on the sofa, watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians (I know, I'm sorry) but it's not very fulfilling. If today was my last day and all I'd done was that, I'm not sure I'd be very happy. However, I still can't see myself changing. Cory's death has affected me in a weird way (more than Amy Winehouse's death) but I'm not the sort of person that would change. I'm lazy. I'm stubborn. I'm shy. I'm scared. All these things make me take the easy route in life and today, the easy route is lying on the sofa.
Was Cory happy? Did he want to go that way? I hate that we have no choices about it and we have no idea. These thoughts are the kind of things that keep me up at night. Where do we go? My mum always says how she's not afraid of death because she thinks it'll just be a long sleep and that's her favourite hobby. As much as I like that answer, I'm not satisfied! I don't want my life to just suddenly end. I know everyone has these thoughts but with everything that has recently happened it's made it so much stronger for me.
While I'm writing this I am in my pyjamas, lying down on the sofa with my laptop on my stomach while watching Friends. This is the extent of my life. To be fair, I am on holiday and I've been ill. But maybe I'm just making up excuses for myself? Maybe I need to just go out and do. Not to be cliche but maybe I should 'live each day like it's my last'. Or maybe, I could carry on like this because that's my personality. I'm lazy, stubborn, shy and scared. Maybe I should just deal with that or embrace that?
If I've been affected by Cory's death then I can't help but think what his family and friends are going through. I hate that death just leads to a path of misery for everyone. You would've thought that because it's been happening for millions of years we would get used to it. But we never do.
I feel the same way. It's so sad that people talented and young die. I know no one's life has more value than others', and yet their loss seems greater because they added something to the world. It makes me wish I would be more extraordinary.
ReplyDelete<3
if you keep saying you're lazy, stubborn, scared and shy then those few words might hold you back when a great opportunity arises but you're not sure you want to take it, then that could continue until you're an adult still watching reruns of friends wondering where your life went.
ReplyDeletei'm not criticising you because i'm just as unchangingly lunazy and unproductive but it's important to think about i guess.
your mum sounds funny btw haha.
x
Nope, I completely agree with you. This post was trying to make me see and change that. I can see that my faults, which I think is a good thing because most people can't. Now all I need to do is change them.
DeleteThanks xx